F.R.I.E.N.D.S

hey guys.

Long time no blog. I've been slacking on doing anything with this 'blog' to focus on my summer sessions and open my studio (YAY!) I've honestly never considered being a blogger of any sort- I just never really thought about writing things down about how I feel, where I go, details about my skill set or anything. I have several friends that run blogs and they literally do such an amazing job. I, in no way, am saying that I'm a blogger, because I'm not, but if something I say/do could help someone in some way- I will gladly write it down and share it with you guys. So I guess I will start with this topic and go from there. I have heard my clients talk to me about this, I've been through this as a teenager/ young woman and I want to share some thoughts with y'all. If you know me, have worked with me or follow me on Instagram you may have already heard this, but for those of you who haven't hear you go.....

Friends.

That word can make or break you.

It can terrify you or make you feel safe.

As a young girl, preteen teen, young adult, adult, I STRUGGLED to find my squad. I was constantly filled with thoughts of not fitting in and not being good enough. Some people didn't want to be my friend. As a younger person.. that hurt. I couldn't understand why. I wanted so badly to have those friends that are in all of the cute photos on Pinterest. I wanted girls to hang out with at school and to call on the phone at night when I had a fight with my boyfriend or my parents. Don't get me wrong, I DID have friends that loved me + still do, which I am forever thankful for. I guess I just didn't understand why some people didn't want that with me. Why some girls talked about me as I walked through the hallway in middle school, why in high school I didn't get invited to the parties, why as a younger adult people started turning to social media to talk about their problems with me rather than coming to me about it. WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN!? WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME!? WHY IS IT OKAY TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS!?

With that being said, some of the people who you are the closest to are your family-your parents, your siblings, grandparents, cousins. Those are the people who have always been there for me. They double as friends and family. I am forever thankful for that. So if you are like me and you hang out with your family more than your friends growing up- that. is. okay. That is such a blessing. On the other hand, some of you may have friends who have turned into your family. You can't remember a time when they weren't in your life. They spend more time at your house than they do at theirs. That is okay too. A bond with someone is a bond blood or not.

Another theory that I would like to go ahead and crush is the theory that the friends that you've known the longest are your closest and best friends. That is absolutely not true. I've met so many friends recently that I have become suer close with that I absolutely have not known as long as my other friends. Some of my friends were around when I wore Abercrombie and carried a Vera Bradley backpack to school and I have friends who are married that we go on double dates with today. I treasure them both the exact same. They all love me unconditionally, they would drop anything at anytime. That's how you know they are your true friends, you pick up right where you left off and don't miss a beat. THOSE PEOPLE: old, new, friends, family, THOSE PEOPLE ARE YOUR TRIBE- YOUR PEOPLE- YOUR SQUAD. They protect your heart. They always have your back. They are a gift from God, a tiny piece of Heaven. Hold on to them, because they are the good ones.

I think the hardest thing about friends is they aren't stuck with you, they don't have to love you. Sometimes you drift a part, sometimes you get in fights and you don't ever make up, sometimes you put the knife in the others back or maybe they just don't like you anymore. That's the toughest part. You lose a piece of your heart, the scar never really heals. You could end up resenting them. They could end up resenting you. If I can give any advice to you or to my younger self, this is what it would be:

It's okay if not everyone likes you. Don't change who you are to fit in. Be nice to everyone, regardless of the situation. Be quick to forgive those who wrong you. Don't let friendships slip away because of things that won't matter in a few years. You ARE good enough to have friends. NOTHING is wrong with you. Focus on the people who love you. Care about others more than yourself. Don't speak ill words about people out of anger. Stay focused on the good. People DO love you. Some people are mean to you because of the insecurities they have within themselves, it's NOTHING that you did. Love yourself, because God made you EXACTLY who he wanted you to be. You are worth in his eyes and he loves you. EXACTLY THE WAY THAT YOU ARE.

So when you are thinking WHY ARE PEOPLE SO MEAN!? WHY DON'T THEY LIKE ME!? WHY IS IT OKAY TO TREAT PEOPLE LIKE THIS!?

REMEMBER THESE WORDS.

So if you have been there since I was born, if you came along as a child, an insecure middle school girl, a high school girl who thought she had everything figured out, a young adult trying to figure out her life, or an adult who is still that young girl inside... I just want to say thank you. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU and I love you. Friends are like shooting stars; beautiful. They come out of no where and when you least expect it. They make your world a little bit brighter and add to the beauty in the world. The only difference is friendships aren't fleeting like those stars. They are more like the Big Dipper. You can always look up and know that those specific stars are going to be there. They each play an important and specific role to complete something bigger than what they are individually. If one of those stars is missing, it wouldn't be the same and the Big Dipper wouldn't be complete. I'm so thankful for each of the "stars" in my life. I would not be me without you.