So I posted something on my Instagram recently asking people what they would like for me to write about on this blog. The very first response I got was a request from someone asking me to blog about self confidence and how to be more confident. WOW. How am I going to talk about being self confidence when I haven't mastered it myself!? All kinds of thoughts went through my head about how to approach this topic. So I'm giving it my best shot...
When I was in high school I found myself questioning my beauty all the time. I looked a celebrities, girls at school, Pinterest, social media and more. I would constantly compare myself. " My legs are HUGE compared to hers!! Why don't I have abs? Maybe if my hair was down to my waist I would look better."
My mom would always tell how beautiful I was, but she is my mom after all. She HAS to think I'm beautiful.. it's in the mom code book or something. I felt like if this boy told me I was pretty THAT would make me feel better about myself, if he says I'm pretty I must be. NOPE. NOTHING made me feel pretty, until.. I came across the Bible Verse, Psalm 139:14
"I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
I began thinking about this verse. Really absorbing it. The God who created the ocean, the mountains, the UNIVERSE. HE MADE ME. little ole me. He made everything in this world and still thought about me. He thought the world could use a Taylor. He formed me in the womb and created me exactly how we wanted me to be. He designed my eye color, my skin tone, my height, the freckles that scatter across my face and shoulders. He made me EXACTLY the way he wanted me to be.
When I thought about it that way I started feeling selfish for thinking my previous thoughts. I felt like I wasn't appreciative of what God blessed me with. The God who is sovereign, perfect in every way, he makes NO mistakes and that wouldn't change with me. So every time that I begin to have a negative thought about myself or think if I looked a different way that I would be happier, I just remember that verse. I also remember that while physical beauty plays a big role in the world we live in today, I would rather be beautiful on the inside than the outside. Yeah yeah, I know how cliche that sounds.. but outer beauty is fleeting. It will go away in time, our skin is going to drop, we will have wrinkles where we smile, our figures will give way to gravity and what are we left with?
Who were you nice to? What do people remember you for? Did you impact your school, community, work place and friends in a positive way?
Let me ask you something.. Are you friends with people based on how they look or how they treat you? Do you care if they look like a Victoria's Secret model, or do you care if they come over to your house with ice cream when you break up with your boyfriend?
Imagine if we couldn't see and the only thing we knew about someone was the way they treated us. THAT would be the definition of beauty.
The thing that helped me the most with self confidence is remembering that verse in Psalms and knowing that I was made by the hand of the creator of the universe. I am special, I am beautiful and I need to carry myself in a way that shows that.
If you are in the limbo of life where you are in between boyfriends or you've never had one, remember these words. ONE DAY A GUY WILL COME ALONG THAT WILL LOVE YOU EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE. DO NOT CHANGE.
They will love you and give you the same "you're beautiful" speech that your mom does, except, they don't HAVE to think that. They don't have that same code book that your parents or family members have. They will say it because they mean it, because they truly think you are beautiful. When I met my husband Seth, he would tell me daily and still does, how beautiful I am. Cellulite, pimples, greasy hair and all. I am in no way telling you that you should base the way you feel about yourself based on what a boy says, no. I am telling you that when you find your person, they will help you love yourself. The self confidence will stem from that. Continue to surround yourself with people who build you up, who see past the exterior into the interior of your heart.
After awhile, between your mom, your friends, your family members and eventually your other half, you will find your self confidence somewhere deep down inside and you will actually start believing what they have been telling you your whole life.
Being self confident is NOT easy. It doesn't come natural. It's something I have struggled with my whole life. Every day is a new battle for us to overcome, but remember who made you and how precious of a gift you are.
It's crazy that this topic was the first one that was brought up when I asked what people wanted me to write about, because it is also one of the reasons that I started photography. I wanted girls to see themselves for how truly beautiful they are. I wanted to capture that. I want girls to see a physical example of their beauty. I wanted them to know that I don't make you beautiful in these photos, you are already beautiful. God did that. I just captured a moment of time that showcases your beauty. I want to continue to showcase beauty for the rest of my life.
I got this tattoo when I turned 18. It has meant so much to me over these last five years and I hope that my words can do the same for you. The word is my mom's handwriting and the numbers are my dads. God and my parents. The people who made me. It is my constant reminder of my worth.
Let's build one another up in love and positivity. Let's stop the judging. That's where insecurities come from and our self confidence decreases. Together, with the help of God, I hope we can crush being self conscious, for our generation and for generations to come.
Always remember: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL.
NO MATTER WHAT SOCIETY SAYS, NO MATTER WHAT GIRLS AT SCHOOL SAY, NO MATTER WHAT BOY YOU DATE, NO MATTER IF YOU LOOK LIKE THAT PERSON ON INSTAGRAM OR NOT... YOU ARE STILL BEAUTIFUL.
Let's not be afraid to post photos of ourselves because of others judgements. You should be able to show off yourself. Happiness and all.